Katie fidgeted with the chains on the swings as Nate played on the monkey bars even though they were both pretty old to be at the playground. She was starting to wish she hadn't answered him. "Texas?" he asked, "Why would you want to go there? Thats where I went for my military training. It was awful!" She felt the pain as the hole in her heart tore open a little more. She realized she had said too much. Ugh she was supposed to be moving on not spending time thinking of him. Especially not tonight. The was her first date since he had left. Nate was attractive and he treated her very well. Not to mention he had an amazing bullet bike. She should be enjoying herself. He was wainting patiently for her to answer and she could see in his blue eyes that he was curious. "I have friends there" she mumbled, wishing he had ignored her. "Make them come to you" he replied, wrinkling his nose at the thought of Texas. He turned his focus back to the monkey bars. "Lets go down by the pond" she suggested, hoping to change the subject. They walked silently to the pond as she looked around the park searching for anything to talk about to keep the topic of Texas from coming up again. Nate made his way over to a bench and sat down. She sat next to him and he instantly wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him. She cringed and inched away slightly hoping he wouldnt notice. He sighed and scooted away. "Someday you'll find someone you love and you'll let them in." "I did find someone I love" she stated a little too defensively. "I still do love him and I always will" she stated with conviction. "Where is he then?" Nate asked, surprised. "Texas" she mumbled sheepishly, bowing her head and blushing. "oh" he replied with realization "thats why you want to go to Texas." She nodded a little, still not looking up. He lifted her chin lightly and brushed the hair from her face. "Its ok" he told her understandingly. He pulled her onto his lap and held her closer to him. "It must take a lot to stay here when you want to be with him so badly. You must really love him to put your feelings aside like that just to do whats best for him." She didnt answer as she traced her finger along the muscles in his arms. His chest felt warm against her cheek and she snuggled closer to avoid the chill. Just as she started to relax she heard a hissing to her left. The sprinklers had turned on. She was about to jump out of his lap and run for cover but he stood quickly and ran, carrying her with him. His body sheileded her from the water, but his back was getting the worst of it. When he finally set her down he was soaked. She felt a little guilty as she stood there completly dry. "We had better get you home" he said softly, "your going to be late." He had carried her past all the sprinklers and now he set her gently on the back of his bullet bike. "Lets get you all bundled up" he said, taking the protective jacket and placing it on her. He then made her put on his gloves even though they were too big and quickly strapped the only helmet onto her head. He pulled carefully away from the curb and started down the street. As they picked up speed he reached back to rub her knee. He knew how going fast scared her. She shivered a little as the wind whipped past them. His wet shirt was clinging perfectly to his sculpted shoulders. He didnt seem cold at all. She put her arms around him and pressed her body to his. He was very warm despite the wind and water. He gave her leg a gentle squeeze as another shiver shot through her. He was so perfect and he was sitting right here in her arms but she felt like crying. Her heart was writhing in pain. The memories of him were so strong that she wanted to jump from the bike and run to him (the pain of hitting the pavement would be a nice distraction from the pain of the gaping hole in her chest where her heart should have been). but she knew she couldnt go to him. She quietly buried her head into the back of Nate's shoulder as she felt the tears start burning in her eyes...   

Kasey had forgotten what it was like to wait for him. She had been so excited to come see him that all those past issues had been forgotten. The memories came flooding back to her now. Those long nights when she would wait for hours for him to come home, not knowing if she should keep waiting or just eat dinner without him. Sometimes she waited for hours before he would come home and go straight to bed and some nights he never came home at all. She had sat at the window often, worrying  that something terrible may have happened to him. She had waited for his call many times, even though she knew it wouldn’t come. Here she was, waiting again, he didn’t answer her and he didn’t come. She had thought this time would be different.

Something must be wrong, he had said he would be there and it wasn’t like him not to stick to his word. He rarely commited to showing up for anything but if he said he'd be there he would be there. She hadn’t heard from him in a day and a half. Today was supposed to be their day. He had promised. When he finally did respond his only excuse was that he’d had to run some errands unexpectedly. All day? He couldn’t have called or text and let her know? Kasey knew he was probably lying but there was no point in arguing about it. She only had a little time left before she had to go back home and she didn’t want to spend it fighting over stupid things. “Can I come over?” he asked. She knew he wanted to talk, after all this is what the trip had been about. It was unspoken but they both knew this was their chance to talk about the possibilities of being together.

Jason came over and the second he hugged her Kasey forgave him. This always seemed to happen. When they were together fighting or being mad just seemed pointless and obligating. They sat on the bed, not bothering to turn on the tv. At first things were going well. The conversation was light and they both laughed and joked playfully. Then the  conversation headed in the dreaded direction of feelings and everything suddenly became very serious. Jason was playing his usual mind games. He wanted Kasey to admit her feelings and tell him how much she cared but he was never willing to make himself that vulnerable in return. Both were genetically programmed not to express emotions that would leave them vulnerable and neither wanted to be the first to take that chance. Jason was pressing her to admit she liked him. “Why not suck it up and come out and say it”, he pressed, “ we don’t have to hide anything from each other.” “Ok” she replied deflecting, “is there something you would like to say since were not hiding things? It seems like you have something on your mind.” She would have liked to tell him exactly how she felt, but she didn’t want to be the only one putting her heart on the line that night. She had done that in the past and the results where always the same. He would get her to open up, then after she had told him what she was thinking he would get quiet. If she asked how he felt in return he would turn it back on her without answering. If she tried making assumptions he would tell her those were her words not his or he would say it was not the time to be discussing those things. He always deflected, running the conversation in circles and never answering anything. When she would give up and ignore him so she could move on he always came back and did whatever it took to keep her by his side. This confused her. This is why she would not be the first to answer tonight.

He got mad and asked how he was supposed to know if she liked him if she never answered him. This upset her. She had booked a flight months ago, flew 3 states away, walked seven hours to see him, and set up everything around him. How could he say he didn’t know how she felt? Was all of that not gesture enough for him? She got up from the bed angrily. “I need to go for a walk” she replied, storming from the room. Outside she realized that there was really no where to go so she just paced the small parking lot a few feet from her door. The curtains were open and she could easily make out Jason’s sillohuette on the bed through the big window. His head was bowed and his shoulders were slumped in defeat. He knew her well enough to know when she was this angry it was best to give her space and let her come to him.

As Kasey paced the parking lot she thought angrily to herself. “What do I do now? Did I fly all this way for nothing? Do I go back in there and try to make things work even though he is being completely unfair to me? Do I just think of this as a really expensive lesson learned, go home and try to get over it?….” Just then it started to rain. “Oh how helpful”, she thought sarcasticly, as the big drops began to soak through her t-shirt. Jason opened the door. “come inside” he begged  her. She was known for being stubborn and as angry as she was she did not want to be anywhere near him. He looked at her pleadingly but she stared him down and remained defiantly in the rain. Heaving a sigh he reluctantly made his way over to her. He stiffly began to hug her and snapped her arms to her sides quickly in a half hug, half restraint. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d thrown a punch at him. He leaned his head away just in case she was feeling inclined to do so. Kasey paused for a second, then she leaned her head into his chest and hugged him back. She had been so angry but as soon as he touched her she had felt the anger drain from her body. He relaxed his grip, and rested his cheek on top of her head. Lightning and thunder began crashing all around them. He lead her quietly Back to the room. They sat watching the thunder in almost complete silence. All that could be heard was the rolling thunder and Kasey’s jagged breathing as she quietly sobbed into Jason’s chest. He just held her without saying a word. Kasey liked that he never tried to make her stop crying or made her talk about it. He just comforted her quietly and let her tell him whatever she chose to.

Dont feel like blogging today. Here's a video Brooke made for me with lots of random

clips from hanging out with the girls. Enjoy ♥

I love hiking with my crazy roomates. Here is a video with some of our random hiking clips

I finally got the chance to fulfill this girly ritual. I lied about my weight on my drivers license. I didnt want to admit that I was 21 years old and weighed 96 lbs. so I lied and wrote 105. I'm sure I'll grow into it someday right?

1- Old school games. Pac man and Pac woman were my favorite! I really want those knucks by the way 

2- Finding my old toy box in storage. We would dump all the toys out and take turns sticking each other in there. Then we would roll it around to try and make them fall out and if the lid popped off you lost. One time we put Alexa in there and pushed her down the stairs.

3- The pink tooth brush song. My sisters made up a really funny toothbrush skit to this. We would sing to smurfs and chipmunks all the time. I bet my parents hated it lol

4- This movie wasnt even one of our favorites but the part where they sing put it in the bag (2:15) was one of our favorite things to do. We would sing that song but switch out the words with "Lexa Peffercorn, Lexa Peffercorn, bump bump lol Lex would get SO mad!!! She would flip out and chase us around the house so we did it all the time. we also used to trick Brooke into doing work and things for us because of my little ponies and they had a movie with dragons called Stritons. We would crack imaginary whips and say "striton get me a drink" and if it was your turn as the striton you had to do it. Guess who was always the striton

5- I loved all the Disney movies but what kid didnt. I still feel like a kid when I watch them. Disney is apparently where I learned to be sexy as proved by this video.

I saw some people at a parking once and they were smacking each other with wooden swords and stuff. I remember thinking it was weird but quickly forgetting about it. A few years later I watched Role Models and saw them again. I decided then and there I had to meet one of the people who made a hobby of this and spend the day getting to know them and learning a little bit more about it. I met a girl Katt that does live action role playing once in a while (that what larp stands for). She told me I would have to start by making my own weapon. I wasnt feeling very creative that morning so I just pulled the wooden rod out of my closet. Next I had to get an outfit. Everyone else had cloaks and stuff but the closest I had was the wench outfit so I was kinda the slutty larper for the day  They taught me how to sword fight and I have to say I am pretty decent! I'm not just being concieted they said so too. Larping just reminds me a lot of when I used to play war in the back yard with the boys or house with the girls (there is just a lot more magic involved). One thing I dont get though is why its resticted to just wizards and archers and stuff. I would total larp again if we got to be pirates or outlaws from the old west. Maybe this is the porn star in me coming out but I totally love role playing  Thanks for letting me join you Katt and friends

                                                                   ♥ Andi

As much as I love Dallas sometimes I get a little bit bored when I am cooped up all alone in my hotel room. I was out there to train our new team and to hire some new girls. We have a lot of great candidates. Anyway I have a friend out there that I go visit sometimes, but he was busy all weekend. I went walking a lot to save myself from boredom. While out on my walk I noticed that I was conveniently located right next to a Kinkos. That’s when it hit me. This would be the perfect time to have my parking lot bbq. I went inside and made up a few flyers that said I was going to host a small parking lot party the following day. I went down the row sliding invitations under all my neighbors doors. The next day I was a little worried that no one would show up but I looked out my window and my next door neighbors were out there with their dog (we were in an extended stay where you could have pets). I didn’t have any barbecue food so I brought macaroni and cheese and brownies that I had made in my little oven. The neighbors brought hot dogs and beer and some other neighbors came with potato salad and chips. Before I knew it we had a pretty good sized group of people out there. The food was a little random, and it wasn’t like your typical barbecue but the company was great. I had a lot of fun getting to know them all and I think they had a lot of fun too. Lots of people liked the idea of a random parking lot barbecue. We all stayed until it got dark and then everyone headed back to their rooms. I was so glad people actually showed up and that we didn’t get in trouble by the management! All in all I’d say it was a fun experience and I would definitely do it again!

Its tradition for all the Untamed models to dresss up watch the Victoria Secret Fashion show together. This year we are inviting you to join us. We'll chat with you live and answer your questions off of formspring.me/untamedent We also have gift bags we are giving away full of all kinds of Victoria Secret goodies. Dont worry guys we have stuff for you too. We have a few shower kits that have cologne, body wash, and aftershave in very sexy for him and very sexy for him II which are the best smell in the world! It makes girls want to cuddle up to you and smell your sexy cologne. So join the show, win it, get laid... lol Here's the link. Join the group and also check our show page to see when we'll be doing other broadcasts to see what else you can win

Sometimes I wonder why I seem to be the only girl on the planet that thinks about things the way I do. I love being a girl, its lots of fun, but I find it easier to relate to the male way of thinking on most subjects. I dont understand why girls have to be so darn dramatic!

                                                                             The Rules

1. You must tell everyone all the dirty details about your man, your relationship, and your sex life 

I hate when girls get into a relationship and suddenly feel the need to tell me random facts about their boyfriend at every chance they get. I dont care what tooth paste he uses, what his childhood nic name was, or that he slept with a night light for 14 years.... unless your boyfriend suddenly becomes a subject on a game show where I can earn money for knowing these trivial facts please dont tell me. If my guy does something sweet I dont mind bragging but there is no need to tell anything personal. I often get in trouble for telling people to mind their own business. I'm pretty open about myself but what goes on between me and my man is my business. This includes fights, my sex life, and private conversations. I can keep a secret. I wish other girls could :-/

2- Its ok to flirt with other guys as long as you dont sleep with them/ its ok to kiss another person as long as your both female

I will never be able to understand that logic. What is the point of being with someone if you are going to be with everyone else as well? I would never cheat! It goes against everything I believe in. I could never hurt someone else like that or treat them so badly. The real kicker here is the whole girls kissing girls thing. It seems to be a pretty common opinion that a girl can kiss another girl and its not cheating. Well whatever works for you fine, but as for me, if I wouldnt do it with another guy I wont do it with a girl. Its still going to hurt the person I'm with so I wont do it. The only time I could see girls kissing girls being a non-cheating thing is if it was a pre-determined and mutually agreed upon  threesome situation.

3- Once your with a guy you dont have to put out anymore

Suddenly having a headache every night just before bed is not my idea of good times. A lot of girls are pulling that excuse these days. This is where I think I can relate to boys easier. I have a very high sex drive and I would need a guy that can keep up with that. I would be so bummed if my guy ditched me every night because of some lame excuse. I cant talk to girls about this sort of thing though or I'm labled the "slutty" one. I'm not out doing it with everyone but geeze sue me just cuz I like spending some bed time with my man! Thank you Christina for trying to make it a little more socially acceptable for girls to be a little dirty.

4- You have to be with your guy all the time and you need to know every little detail of his life

Sorry I love you but I am going to need my space sometimes. I need my boyfriend to have guy time. At least one night a week where he goes golfing, or to the gym, or does something manly. I dont care about sports all that much and I dont understand cars. This is why I need you to have your guy time. I am counting on your guy friends to help you get all that manly stuff I dont care about out of your system so that at the end of the day when you come home we can have fun. I dont mind if you have secrets. I'll trust you enough to let you keep them. People always tell me I am stupid for being that way but I understand. Sometimes there is just stuff you dont want to talk about or that you want to keep to yourself. I trust people that if it's important for me to know then they'll tell me.

5- Once you get a man he'll provide everything for you

I say lets combine our assets. I dont want to just sit back and do nothing. I want to be equal. Some guys seem to think that they are less of a man if they arent doing all the work and paying for everything. I dont want to step on toes but I need the guy to leave me at least a few options to make me feel like I'm pulling my weight in the realtionship. Another thing I have seen that is pretty disgusting, girls in tons of debt that get boyfriends just to pay it. My bills are my problem. I could not ever bring my debts into a relationship and make them someone else's problem. Besides I work hard to keep all my finances in line. I dont want to just hand them off all over the place and get things messed up.

6- Its ok to keep secrets from your boyfriend if it keeps from hurting him

Bull. Thats a cop out. I dont want to hurt a guy but if I have something I need to tell him I'll just tell him. If it might hurt him I'll say it in the nicest way possible but I'm not going to keep things from him. Secrets hurt people and they hold you prisoner. I dont mind keeping your secrets but I dont keep anything secret about myself. People may not always like what I say or do but at least I am taking responsibility for it and they cant use it against me. I do have a past but I lay it all out there so that anyone I'm with knows exactly what they are getting into. I know who I am and I'm comfortable with it.

7- Its romantic when you have al sorts of problems for your guy to fix

uh no, not true. Baggage is not cool. If you are insecure, depressed, or any other kind of... not well. Dont think that running out and getting a boyfriend will fix everything. He doesnt want to deal with your drama. Girls need to learn how to be happy by themselves before they add guys into the mix. Sorry all you "fixer" guys out there. I'm not the girl for you. I dont have any deep rooted issues and when trouble comes up I work it out. No big.

8- If you really like a guy play hard to get

Again I am not on the same wave length. If I like a guy, then I like a guy. I'm not going to pretend to feel one way if I feel another. The only fun games to play are in the bedroom and those are drama free. You wont find me playing stupid games that you read in magazines telling you how to get a guy. Maybe thats why I'm single

9- real men dont cry

I'm not saying I want you to be a wuss, but its cool if you get moody sometimes. You dont need ovaries to excuse a bad day. Girls are always trying to fix their boyfriend when he's grumpy by being super clingy. I dont know about you but when I'm pissed I need my space for a minute. I break girl code on this one because I'll give the guy space until he calms down or talks to me but either way its up to him. There are ways to help him have a better day without yelling at him or sticking to him like cling wrap and asking him a million times "whats wrong?"

10- once he's your you have to train him

 Guys are not dogs. You dont train them. If you got with someone because you liked them why would you want to change them the second you are together? Makes no sense to me. If he liked riding motorcycles before he met you he is still going to like them after. Its not fair to try and take that  stuff away from him or try to change him. I want a guy who wont hold me back but who will come with me. Like my partner in crime. I wouldnt expect that of him if I wasnt willing to do that myself.