February 11, 2013

  • Are you the person you'd thought you'd be at this age? Why or why not?

     

    I don't think any of us turn out to be the person we thought we would be. Maybe sometimes people are closer than others but overall I think what we want and who we think we are changes as we get older. I know I'm not at all the person I thought I would be. I was positive I would be married with 2 kids about now. At one point I was on track to be an actress/mother/ second half of an amazing power couple. Then I switched gears and thought I would be in Italy with a warm happy family living with my husband and making wine for his family label while our kids played in the vineyards (turns out he wanted to abandon his family money, bike through Europe on his own, and become a flute playing hippy instead). Then I thought I would marry into a polynesian family and live on an island supporting my husband as Matai. Then I thought I would be single for life and just travel the world breaking hearts. I would say I'm a lot closer to that than any of my other visions of the future.

    I think the biggest thing is that I thought I would know where I was going and what I was doing by now. As if you hit your 20's and you suddenly wake up and your an adult with all the answers.

    but that's not how it works is it? I'm still just as lost as I was before. I have no idea what I want to do forever. Quite frankly I don't think there is anything I want to do FOREVER. I want to do lots of things. I still have lots to learn about life, and love, and the world. I'm not saying that being married or having kids is abhorent to me. I wouldn't mind that at all. I just don't want to settle into just one big boring life full of monotony. A family just means I have more people to add to the adventure and more people to take me on their adventures. I would love that! I don't know if that's how things will work out for me because I still haven't hit that magic age where I suddenly learn all the answers but I do know that however things turn out for me I am going to make sure I live it out to the fullest and love every minute of whatever gets thrown at me.

       

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